Friends at 55+

Maybe You Should Consider a 55+ Community. 

Citrus Trees and Palm Trees

I never considered living in a 55+ community, but the housing market in Phoenix pushed me into one.

We relocated from the Dallas area to Phoenix in the summer of 2021, when buyers were willing to pay anything for a house-well, almost anything, and we decided not to participate in the "I'll pay anything for your house" game that was so popular.

Every open house had a steady stream of buyers, most of them willing to pay above the asking price. By the time we finished looking at a house, the listing agent told our agent they already had 5 or more offers above the list price. We just said, "Okay. Bye."

So, I figured we could cut the competition by looking at houses in 55+ communities. They weren't in areas I was familiar with, but hey, we needed a place to live, so we ended up in Sun City West. 

I didn't even know there was a Sun City West. I'd lived in the Phoenix area for about 35 years, so I was well acquainted with Sun City, but I'd never heard of Sun City West. Having spent all my Phoenix years in the east valley of Scottsdale, Tempe, and Mesa, Sun City West (SCW) felt like eastern California.

The house our realtor found was perfect; it was updated and extremely well cared for. We loved the palm tree lined streets and the golf courses. We made the offer, did some deals, and got ready to close. 

A hefty capital improvements fee was added to our closing costs. We knew it was to maintain the recreation centers that include golf courses, pools, jacuzzis, weight rooms, and about a gazillion club activities. But since my husband and I are not old enough or rich enough to retire, we didn't think much about the amenities.

Although I exercise daily, I don't have time to attend a weekly dance or workout. My husband joined the Automobile Restoration Club (ARC), which is mind-boggling. The ARC is a huge, state-of-the-art building where you can work on cars, trucks, and other things that go vroom. It has four lifts, tons of tools, and its own paint booth so you can even paint your car/truck/boat, etc! He needs to change the clutch in his little BMW, and will do the work at the ARC, but honestly, he's been a member for almost a year and this will be the first time he's taken advantage of the ARC membership. 

Paint Booth at the Sun City West
 Auto Restoration Club

Sun City West Auto Restoration Center

The pools, Jacuzzis and golf courses are well kept and we've used them some. The putt-putt miniature golf course is a regular source of entertainment for us and maybe one day we will use the full size bowling alley. But the amenity I appreciate the most is the opportunity to develop friends in a 55+ community.

If you've lived in the same city for most of your life, you may still be close with friends from high school, college or early in your adult life.

If, on the other hand, you've lived a nomadic life as I have for the past 25 years, you've probably learned to hold your friends loosely. Even with Zoom, FaceTime and every other social media device, it's hard to maintain relationships from a distance. 

People change. They move on. Their families and lives grow, extend, filling up their hearts and schedules. 

I've found it difficult as a mature adult to develop friends as I've moved from Michigan to Phoenix to Michigan to Lubbock to Round Rock to Dallas to Lafayette, Louisiana to Sache, TX because most people establish their circle of "peeps" in their 20s and 30s. If you arrive in their town when they (and you) are in your 50s and 60s, you're too late. Their group is set. Their table is full when they have a dinner party. There's no room for two wandering strangers.

But in SCW, (and I would assume, other 55+ communities), everyone is in the same situation. A few folks move here with their besties, but most leave their friends and family to enjoy life without snow, icy roads, and plummeting winter temperatures. People aren't locked into seeing their grandchildren every weekend or doing the same thing with the same folks they've done it with for the past 20 years. They're open to making new friends.

I've joined a few Christian women's groups and a political group that meet monthly for lunch and inspirational messages, and through them, I've made some wonderful friends. 

They call me and text me! We  have lunch or dinner together! We go to other meetings together! They come to my house to ask my advice about things. It's something I haven't had in over 20 years, and I am thankful.

https://suncitywest.com

Home Sweet Home

Reflections of a Sold-Out Young Mother

Reflections of a Sold-Out Young Mother

I  had a flashback yesterday as I was worshipping God at faith4life Dallas. Maybe it would be better-called retrospective insight. Whatever it was, it was powerful, and you need to know about it, especially if—
·      You’re involved in raising or ministering to kids
·      You attend a small church
·      You pastor a small church

See, yesterday I wasn’t sitting in any church. I was in the church that my son, Matthew Tarkington, pastors. He is highly anointed. I have taught in several Bible schools and have preached from many pulpits. I know many extremely anointed younger and older preachers, and my son doesn’t lag behind any of them. I sit amazed at his insight (although once in a while he takes credit for something I told him years ago). J  He has an ability to follow the Holy Spirit and to exhibit patience and love for people that is second to none. Thousands of people listen to his messages all over the world. If you don’t know him yet, you will!

And… I wasn’t just singing any worship song. We were singing “Jesus at the Center.” Israel Houghton is generally regarded as the composer of that song, but I knew that he had help. The official lyrics include two other writers. One of them is Adam Ranney. You might know his name; if you don’t yet, you will! Maybe you’ve seen him on TBN (I think he’s on like… every other day!).

Adam Ranney grew up in the same church and Christian school as my son. As a matter of fact, I have the honor of being known as the music teacher who cut him from the small ensemble in junior high…yea…And now he’s a world-famous worship leader! That’s another story… 

To the Pastors

Both Pastor Matt and Pastor Adam spent most of their developmental years in a church whose attendance hit around 200 at its peak. The pastor wasn’t famous. The facilities weren’t fancy. The staff was small, and most of them were volunteers.
My family started attending the church in 1985. Pastor Matt was barely two years old. As a matter of fact, he raised some eyebrows in the nursery when he got the Barbie doll out of the toy chest, pointed to her legs, and said, “pantyhose.”   

Adam is several years older than Matt, but I remember him coming to the church when he was in third or fourth grade. 

Many of us who attended that church came out of the Jesus Movement or the Charismatic Renewal of the late 1970’s. We were sold out for Jesus. We were hungry for the Word and the gifts of the Holy Spirit. 

The pastor preached the Word. He and his wife graduated from the first class of Rhema. Sometimes he would flow in the gifts of the Spirit. He taught us about tithing. He debunked old church myths. He used to say, “Stop shucking and jiving God.” Sometimes he would butcher the English language, but we knew what he meant, and he was anointed! His wife taught the women from Scripture about raising children and being good wives. She was instrumental in opening the Christian school at the church, which required monthly Scripture memorization. I’m sure both Pastor Matt and Pastor Adam remember Bible verses from those days! These pastors taught the Word of God without compromise and flowed in the Holy Spirit.

The church had an amazing children’s church program. Volunteers ran it. My son still remembers it as “Starship 91.” There was Starship Bridge with knobs and lights and buttons kids could turn and click and punch to make the time machine work. Out of the time machine came Bible characters to give their account of what God did in their lives. My son got saved and filled with the Holy Spirit there. 

To the Parents

Neither Adam Ranney’s parents nor Pastor Matt’s parents would have ever thought of letting their kids skip church. The Ranneys were in their seats on the aisle in the third row every week. (One week I intentionally sat in “their seats” just to throw them off!)
I don’t know if the Ranney kids ever complained about going to church. I imagine they did, but in looking back, I realize that my kids didn’t ask to skip church. It’s just what we did. On Sundays and Wednesdays, we went to church… Period.

I know the Ranneys well enough to know that they, like we, raised our kids and lived our lives according to the Word of God. If the Word said to tithe, we tithed. I know that both of our families went through difficult financial times. We didn’t throw up our hands and cry, “This faith stuff doesn’t work!”  We continued to give and to volunteer. The pastor continued to teach us the truth.If the Word said to discipline our children with the rod, we did. We didn’t abuse our children. Mr. Ranney coached his boys in soccer. I directed my son in several musicals. We laughed with our kids; we loved our kids; we believed in our kids, and we taught them they could do all things through Christ which strengtheneth them! 

We just did what the Bible said.

The Point

Neither the Ranneys nor the Tarkingtons were perfect. Our pastor wasn’t perfect. Our church was full of imperfect people, but they were sold-out people.  I wonder if Adam Ranney would be on TBN (practically every time I turn it on) if his parents had said, “You can go to church if you want or stay home. Whatever. It’s up to you!” Probably not.
I wonder if my son would be an anointed world-changing pastor if I had treated my Christianity as a hobby. You know what a hobby is—you do it when you want and how you want to do it. Hobbyist Christians pray when they really need something, go to church when it’s convenient, and sometimes do what the Word says… when it doesn’t demand too much of them! Would my son be who he is if I had been a hobbyist Christian? Probably not.
Both the Ranneys and my family avoided gray zones. We lived in black and white. Right and wrong. If we didn’t know what to do, we went to the Word. We believed in absolute truth, not in a moving target morality. That’s how we raised our kids. We were sold out, fanatical young parents. And I’m thankful we were. I guess you could say we put Jesus at the center of it all! 

Jesus At The Center

Israel Houghton, Michah Massey & Adam Ranney

Jesus be the center of it all Jesus be the center of it all From beginning to the end It will always be

It’s always been You Jesus, Jesus

Jesus be the center of my life Jesus be the center of my life From beginning to the end
It will always be

It’s always been You Jesus, Jesus

Nothing else matters
Nothing in this world will do
Jesus you’re the center
Everything revolves around You
Jesus You, at the center of it all, the center of it all

Jesus be the center of Your church Jesus be the center of Your church Every knee will bow
and every tongue shall confess you Jesus, Jesus

From my heart to the heavens Jesus be the center
It’s all about You
Yes, It’s all about You

Jesus, Jesus

"Fulfilling your purpose" probably isn't what you think it is...

It's been a while, dear reader...

I've been hearing a lot of people preach on "Fulfilling your purpose" in life. I mentioned it a message I ministered yesterday. I almost left it out of my sermon  because I'm concerned that it is affecting people in a most unintended way…

One of the most often quoted scriptures on this subject is Jeremiah 29:11--"I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to bless you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

We tend to apply that personally, but if you read it in context, you will notice that God was speaking to a nation...a wayward nation at that...

Okay, okay...I apply that scripture to individuals...just like that other preacher you listen to...but I think it's important to note the Scripture in its correct context. 

I use Jeremiah 29:11 to encourage others and myself because it reveals God's character. God has plans. They are good plans. He doesn't set out to hurt anyone, be it a nation, or an individual. God wants you to have hope. God is good. God is love. 

I almost didn't include anything about fulfilling one's purpose in my message yesterday because I sense that people are getting it twisted---wait---I'm pretty sure that a whole lot of people are getting it twisted...

Here's the thing...when we hear somebody preach from Jeremiah 29:11, we think BIG. There's nothing wrong with that. God is a BIG God. He does BIG things for His kids. He wants His kids to be the CEO's, Sports phenoms, and Entertainment moguls.

So...if what we’re doing isn’t something on a grand scale, we assume that we haven’t yet gotten into God’s plan for our lives!

I have to admit, when I listen to a message about "fulfilling God's purpose for my life," I often start to feel... a little...inadequate....

I mean, if I were fulfilling God's purpose for my life, it would certainly be something BIG...I should be preaching to THOUSANDS...not hundreds...Right? 

I've observed a whole lot of Christians who wander from church to church, ministry to ministry, or job-to-job searching for God's purpose. All the while, they are serving important roles in a wonderful church, with a good pastor, and people who care about them. 

But somehow they think, "God's plans for me MUST be better than what I'm doing here!" These folks are filling VITAL roles in the local church. They are the children's church volunteers, the parking lot attendants, the audio/sound guys, the praise team members, the bookstore workers, the ushers/hostesses, the building maintenance team, and the assistants to the Pastor.

Look... everybody isn't called to be Joyce Meyer or T D Jakes! 

Hey, I've been tempted myself...to go back to school, get another degree, hire a promotional agency…because obviously, if I'm doing GOD'S THING IT WILL BIG. IT WILL BE DIFFERENT. IT WILL BE...HARD! I WILL BECOME FAMOUS...OR AT LEAST RICH!!!

Not necessarily...

Having a peaceful, happy home is part of God's purpose for my life.

Raising Godly children who became pastors and ministers of the Gospel was a part of God's purpose for my life.

Encouraging my husband, the Amazing Mr. Brintnall, is a part of God's purpose for my life.

Praying...for lots and lots of people...lots and lots...yeah...probably YOU...is a part of God's purpose for my life.

Being a mentor for young women, moms, and leaders is a part of God's purpose for my life.

Supporting pastors...wherever I am...is a part of God's purpose for my life.

OBVIOUSLY...God isn't finished with me because I'm still here. There's still much that needs to be done in these last days. I expect to go from glory to glory…but…

Some of us need to stop searching for our purpose and just walk with God!!!

PRAY

LISTEN

FOLLOW PEACE

BE KIND

BE GENEROUS

DO WHATEVER YOUR HANDS FIND TO DO

John Wesley said, "I am not afraid of you doing too little, but too much. Do a little at a time that you may do the more."

Little by little...inch by inch...here a little, there a little...

The important thing is your walk with the Lord. Let Him lead you...He will get where He wants you to be!!

I’m going to fulfill God’s purpose for me today by posting this blog, praying for you, calling my 93-year-old father, and cooking a healthy dinner for my husband!

Until next time, dear reader…do a little today…to fulfill God’s purpose for your life…

YOUR PASTOR

Today... 

I just got home from a week long series of meetings. Many of those in attendance were in the full time ministry. Some, like me, were travelling (AKA itinerant) preachers/teachers. Many were pastors.

This was not my first rodeo, as my husband, the amazing Mr. Brintnall would say. I’ve been to dozens, maybe close to a hundred meetings like the ones I attended this week. 

            

I heard a lot of great music, many tremendous sermons, and even shared several meals that fed both body and soul. 

But let me tell you what I came away with this time. I can’t seem to get it off my mind; it has to do with your pastor.

            

Here is the truth—your pastor is a rock star.

            Seriously. A ROCK STAR.

            

I speak from a unique perspective.

            

I co-pastored a start up church for about a year. I preached most of the time. Like a lot of churches, we had services Sunday morning, Sunday night, and Wednesday night. Every week I needed to spend hours in prayer, study, and preparation so I could present a fresh, powerful, memorable, life-changing message, and I had to do it three times every week.

            

I like to preach. No, I love to preach; I think God made me to preach. I began public speaking in the second grade. I’ve never suffered from the commonly held world’s greatest fear of public speaking. I love to hear from God. I love the Scriptures. I love the Holy Spirit. I love leading people to the Lord. I love operating in the anointing. I love seeing people’s lives changed as a result of the Word of God.

Even with my tremendous love and zeal for preaching, I have to admit that the demands of presenting a powerful, life-changing Word three times each week got…tough...

Okay. I know that those of you who aren’t in full-time ministry are thinking, “Hey, I get tired at my job too. Deal with it, pastor!” It’s not fair to compare a secular job with what your pastor does week after week after week…

Let’s do a little comparison of a secular employee with your pastor.

1.  As an employee in the secular world, you need to meet the expectations of your boss and those above you on the corporate ladder. For example, if you are an administrative assistant, you don’t need the approval of the janitor to keep your position. Your pastor, on the other hand, needs to meet the expectations of everyone in the congregation—the janitor, the administrative assistant, the CEO, and everyone in between.
2.  When you go to work on Monday, you know who will be there. Of course, there may be an occasional employee out on a sick day or vacation, but put yourself in your pastor’s place. He/she sees every person who calls that church “home” an average of once (out of an average of 8 possible services) a month. What would happen if the employees at your job showed up only about 13 percent of the time? How would things run? How would the customers get proper attention? Would the companies’ bills get paid?
3. If you make a mistake at your job, it can likely be remedied with a little effort. The widget may need to be retooled; the schedule may need to be changed; the document may need to be rewritten. If your pastor gives the wrong advice in a counseling session, or if something is misunderstood from his/her sermon, someone’s entire life and eternity could be at stake.
4. You can complain to your fellow workers about being tired, overworked, and undervalued (although I don’t recommend it---you know it happens!) and it is accepted as normal behavior. Your pastor is expected to be energetic, engaging, encouraging, powerful, and….well, perfect... all the time.
5. Your private life is your private life. Your boss can be in for a HUGE lawsuit if he/she tries to control your personal choices. As much as I hate cliché’s, it’s the truth--your pastor lives in a fishbowl, and not only the pastor... but the pastor’s entire family...                                 

So as I was driving home today, exhausted, from the conference, I thought about the pastors that were there.

They will go home, unpack, and do laundry just like I did. Since I'm not scheduled to preach anywhere tomorrow, I will have dinner and a sorely needed early bedtime. The pastors won't have the same luxury. They will likely go to their home office, fall on their knees, and pray for tomorrow’s services. 

They will write their messages, or put final touches on it. They will make sure that there are enough volunteers to cover the nursery, children’s church, ushers, parking lot, and the deacon room. They will probably get a few calls from congregants who need prayer or who say, at the last minute, “Oh Pastor, I know I was scheduled to lead the kid’s church service tomorrow, but I decided to visit my relatives on the other side of the state. Sorry.” Still... your pastor will get up early tomorrow to pray some more, eat a light breakfast, and get to church to turn on the Air Conditioning and the lights before anyone else arrives.

Your pastor will be in the pulpit tomorrow fired up with the power of the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. I know your pastor will likely be tired, maybe even a bit weary, but your pastor will be there. Will you?

I will blog you later...in the meantime, appreciate your pastor...He/she is a ROCK STAR!

And...do something today to fulfill your purpose...it may start by getting to church in the morning!