Follow Your Heart, but Don't Disconnect Your Brain- How I Met the Amazing Mr. Brintnall- Part 2

Today....

I want to encourage you to follow your heart...but don't disconnect your brain....

What is on your heart that you've held back because it was new or different?

Inventions? Business ideas? Investments? 

Getting that College Degree?  A Relationship? 



Is there anything in your heart to do that you haven't done because people of/in your
______________________________ (fill in the blank- sex, marital status, socio-economic group, age group, race, church, job, educational level, city, state, country, etc....) don't normally do it that way?

My life in the ministry is rather public...... I'm not as famous Joyce Meyer....my life isn't on the huge jumbo-tron screen like someone of her renown.....but it is still public....

That's part of "the deal" of being in the ministry....The Apostle Paul told the Christians in Philippi, "Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example." (Philippians 3:17) 

Pattern your lives after mine.....WHEW!  That's a pretty big responsibility! Ministry is more than a 9-5 job.  You are never really "off." My life (and any minister's life) is constantly on display as an example..... 

I've heard people in the ministry bemoan the fact that they live in a "fishbowl," but that is part of the deal!  If you can't handle it, do something else!  

Seriously....if you don't like working with pipes, don't be a plumber....if you don't like working with numbers, accounting is not a good career choice....and if you can't handle life in the fishbowl.....DO NOT.... I REPEAT......DO NOT...... go into the ministry......

While it is part of "the deal"......the problem with the fishbowl is that it can box you into what "they" think.  
You know, "It's ALWAYS been done this way before...." 

"What will they think if I do this differently?"

"That's not the way so-and-so did it." 

PKs (preacher's kids) often leave the church because of the fishbowl life....

I always told my kids we were SUPPOSED to live like CHRISTIANS......being in the ministry had NOTHING to do with it!

YES....ALL THE TIME...live like the Bible says......if we did that, we didn't have to worry about the fishbowl......

THE FISHBOWL DIDN'T HAVE TO LIMIT THEIR CREATIVITY, ABILITIES, or PURSUITS. 
And if you know my kids, you know it didn't.....

Fishbowl or not, we had limiting factors to what we could. Here are my standards that would limit what we could do as serious Christians-

• IS THIS CONTRARY TO GOD'S WORD?  
• IS IT LED BY HOLY SPIRIT?
• IS NOW THE TIME?

You're probably wondering how this fits into the tale of How I Met the Amazing Mr. Brintnall.....

When I became suddenly single, there was a time of healing that was necessary. (That's for another blog.....) 

Eventually I was ready to consider being married again....but how could a suitable husband ever find me? Here are the ways I expected....because that's they way "everybody" else that I knew had done it......

He could join my church....but that would be awkward to say the least, since I was in a major position of leadership on staff there.....

He could notice me sitting alone at a restaurant, see me bow my head to pray, then approach me politely and begin a conversation. He would ask for my phone number, we would talk, then go out to dinner. He would join my church, and off we would go....I must not have been praying long enough or loud enough over my meals.....cause that never happened....

He could find me through a mutual acquaintance....except.....everybody I knew was married with married friends....it wasn't happening that way.....

Not only did those preconceived notions affect me, but I had to consider how my decisions would affect other people. What kind of example was I setting? Would others be tempted to do something dangerous or immoral by justifying their behavior on something I did?  

I had heard about couples meeting on the internet....but I had also heard from some preachers that "Christian women don't do that." Even though I had considered it, I listened to those voices that said, "We don't do things that way." 

One woman (who also lived in the fishbowl) asked me if I had considered using a Christian "dating" site to meet someone.  I had thought about it. The questions I had to answer were, "Would using a Christian dating site be contrary to any of my life's limiting factors?" 
"Would going online to meet my mate set a bad example?" 

• Was using a Christian "dating" site contrary to the Word of God?
• Here are the arguments against it-
• If a female goes on a website, then the woman is finding the man, and scripture says the man is to find the woman. (Prov. 18:22)
• It could be dangerous....you watch the news, right?
• People don't always tell the truth online. You may not be getting what you think you're getting
• After much prayer and thought, I came to these conclusions regarding those arguments-
• Putting my picture and background information on a website didn't mean I was "going after the man." A Christian dating site is nothing more than an intermediary of introduction....There is a scriptural basis for this... an intermediary found Isaac his wife....(Genesis 24)
• 
  
• It didn't have to be dangerous....I had plans of how I would meet a man in person for the first few times....never alone! If it looked like the friendship could get serious, I would have him interview with some trusted friends before we got into "courting"...besides....I'm always prepared when it comes to personal safety....'nuff said....
• 
  
• People don't always tell the truth online....have you heard the old song, "Online"?  It's not a Christian song....but it's pretty funny.... here are some of the lyrics............. Online I live in Malibu, I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ; I'm single and I'm rich, and I've got a set of six packs that would blow your mind. I'm so much cooler online.  Yeah, I'm so much cooler online...............................  I was fully aware that I could be lied to....but I could be lied to if I met the man at church as well....I knew that if I got into a relationship, I would need to meet the man's pastor and his family. I would need to know if he had a pastor to whom he was accountable. The character of his family and his friends would reveal a lot about his character.  If his best character reference was a beer drinking member of the bowling team...... I would be concerned.....(no offense to bowlers...)
• Was it led by Holy Spirit?
• For me, at this time.....Yes....I can't answer that for anyone else at any other time. 
• I know how He leads me....I had a knowing....that's the best way I can describe it.  
• One night, after some time in prayer, I had a sense that it was time to take that step. I did a search on my iPad for "Christian Dating Sites."  Three popped up. I had heard of two of them, the third one was unknown to me.  I went to that website. It had links to "Focus on the Family."  I later found out that the site screens every picture that is put up and it is the only one of the three that is owned by Christians. 
• Is now the time?
• I knew it was. I had gotten things in order, lived a celibate life since being single, and had been serving God faithfully.
• I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do at the right time.......regardless of what arguments fishbowl observers might have against it.

I believe the parameters I set and the way I handled it did not set a bad example. I was cautious, I had rules for if/when I met a man online....... and I stuck by them.....(maybe on another blog....)

MY HEART SAID, "DO IT."  

I FOLLOWED MY HEART BUT I DID NOT DISCONNECT MY BRAIN AND ACT FOOLISHLY OR DANGEROUSLY!

What about you?

Are there arguments that are keeping you from doing what's on your heart? 

Do you have fishbowl observers who are telling you, "You'd better be careful!" 

"You shouldn't do that."

 "That's not the way we do it" ?

If it's not contrary to God's Word, if it is Holy Spirit led, and if now is the time.....

GO FOR IT----FOLLOW YOUR HEART, BUT DON'T DISCONNECT YOUR BRAIN!

• Get good information
• Seek wise counsel
• Be safe; Set parameters
• Be a wise steward of the time, money, talent your new endeavor will require                                     

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

I did it!  I joined a Christian dating website!  I figured out how to get my picture on all by myself. I normally would ask my tech- savvy kids how to do that..... but I didn't want my kids to freak out because the "Reverend Mother" was joining a Christian dating website......(One of them..who shall remain nameless..... still freaked out.....later!)  :-)

I got lots of "winks" or "nods" or whatever they were called from men....I didn't even respond to those.  I figured, "If you want to say something to me, the say it....be the man!  Start the conversation...don't leave that up to me!"  That was one of my standards I had set.....There's a tip there.....

I got some nice email messages on the site...they were...nice....

Then about 5 days later....I got an email.....that took my breath away.....it was so perfectly written.....for me....guess who it was from?

The Amazing Mr. Brintnall.....His email grabbed my heart.... still I stuck to my guidelines and used my brain....

Follow your heart...whether it has to do with meeting Mr/Mrs Right....or whether it has to do with your next step in achieving your dreams....but don't disconnect your brain....God gave it to you for a reason....

Your God-given dreams will come true!

Until next week.....do something today to fulfill your purpose!

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