My Odd Life- Part 1

Today........

It occurred to me that my life is really.....odd....

I have moved an average of once every 27 months for the last 16 years of my life.

The moves began when I relocated from the beautiful dessert of Phoenix to the ice capped, pot-holed streets of the Detroit area.....

WHO DOES THAT?  

Complete strangers in Michigan would hear that I moved from Phoenix to Detroit, and all they would say was....."WHY?"

The weather was a HUGE culture shock, and not only that....

I went to the Detroit area to love, serve, and learn at an AMAZING, WONDERFUL church....with a culture that was completely foreign to me...... I was CLUELESS!!!

Until that time, I never knew anything about "shout music," I had never, ever listened to Gospel Music, I didn't know how to sway properly, and never attended a church where the choir actually wore robes! 

I didn't know that jeans (which are appropriate for ANY occasion in the west) were not acceptable attire; I didn't know people still wore hats to church, and the only macaroni and cheese my kids had ever eaten up to that point came out of a little blue box. 

When my daughter first saw home-made macaroni and cheese, she asked what it was....when she was told it was macaroni and cheese, she said, "No, it's not....mac and cheese doesn't look like that!"  Well....not in our house, at least up to that time......

That may have offended our friend who had just worked so hard on making that amazing pan of lusciousness....

I probably said some things to people that were offensive back then....simply because....I REALLY didn't know!  SO.....PLEASE....Accept my apologies!

I just didn't know.....People even talked differently there.  

Shortly after the move, someone asked me, "Where ya staying at?"  That indicated to me that he thought we were only visiting.  I replied, "Oh, we live here now."  

He answered, "Yea, so where ya staying at?"  

This conversation was taking place in the large sanctuary, and there was a lot of background noise, so I figured he just didn't hear me.   I reiterated, trying to speak VERY CLEARLY....  "WE LIVE HERE NOW.  WE'RE NOT STAYING IN A HOTEL ANY LONGER.  WE ARE IN A HOUSE."  

God bless him; he continued the conversation...."Yea, so where ya staying...are you in Ferndale or Farmington Hills or Southfield?"

Finally the light went on for me.....OHHHHH.....He means, "Where are you living?"!!!!

Where I came from, the word "stay" had a temporary connotation...you stay at a hotel (i.e.  "We're staying at the Marriott").

The word "live" would be used in reference to the family home (i.e.  "We live in Louisiana").

People used abbreviations for things that were unintelligible to me.  I quietly asked a trusted friend what the abbreviations meant, and when I was told, I realized that it was something I should never say.....because  if I said it, it would have been considered wholly inappropriate ....but it took some painful mistakes to figure those things out....

I am eternally grateful for the friends who took me aside back then and lovingly explained things I didn't understand or things I was doing that were misunderstood!  God bless you, every one!!!

Sometimes I laugh out loud at where I've been and what I've done.  If there was ever a non-candidate for this type of life, it would have been me....or so you'd have thought from looking at my upbringing.....

I was always taught to be accepting of people, regardless of their ethnicity.  People are valuable to God.  Period.  I was taught to judge people by their character, and not their skin color. I was taught that we all have the same Maker, and He is no respecter of persons.......but I grew up in culturally and racially monochromatic neighborhoods and private schools.  

How did I get to the Detroit area?  Well, the simple part of the story is that the family moved there so mom and dad could attend Bible School and serve in the ministry..... 

But Detroit?  REALLY?

Our lives are sewn together with thin threads that lead you to the next step.  Sometimes those threads go unnoticed.....but the words you speak,  the prayers you pray, the books you read, and the people you associate with will determine where you are in 5, 10, or 15 years...

Years before I wound up in Detroit, I prayed about the divisions in the Body of Christ....saying that 11:00a.m. on Sundays should not be the most segregated hour in America....

And there I was....wearing a choir robe (in which I always felt completely out-of-sorts),  learning to sway, running to "shout music," getting rid of my jeans, and learning to make macaroni and cheese sans the blue box. 

A lot of people talk about helping America cross the racial divide, but few are willing to step over and make the effort to understand or even function in another culture....because it sounds a lot easier than it is!

I am thankful for for my pastor, who had a vision of a multi-cultural church, and I am thankful for the people who explained things to me and accepted me with my "strange" ways....

Here's the thing.....just because something is "strange" to you doesn't mean its wrong.  Choir robes were very strange to me...that doesn't make them wrong! I'm still not crazy about Gospel or Rap music, but as long as the lyrics are positive...hey....listen or sing away! 

On the other hand, if you really want to build a cross-cultural church (or any kind of organization) it would behoove you to be able to see things from lots of perspectives...Choir robes may be great, but is wearing jeans to church really a horrible thing?  Can you handle some contemporary worship along with your Gospel music? 

That move from Phoenix to Detroit was extremely difficult for me.....  I think I cried every day for 2 years......the weather was....so....ruthless, and, honestly...sometimes people were....

However...... I am so, so, so thankful that God found me available to love, serve, and learn at one of the most amazing churches in America!  

He opened my eyes to a lot of things that I never even knew were issues for people of a different race.  My life has been incredibly enriched, and I pray that I was a blessing to that organization and to individuals there as well.  

I encourage you to reach out today, reach across the dividing lines....your way isn't the only way....honor others as valuable, and learn something today!

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.....Galatians 3:28

I am still following God's direction, these 16 years later, and my life is still quite odd...

That is where we will pick up next week...in "My Odd Life-Part 2"

I'll blog ya next week, but maybe not on Thursday...it's Thanksgiving!  Until then, do something to fulfill your purpose!

Saying Goodbye.....

Today....I'm thinking about saying goodbye....

Oh, how I dislike it!  Is there anyone who enjoys saying goodbye?  Even when the goodbyes ARE ACTUALLY GOOD.....I still don't like them.... For instance.....

I spent last weekend with my daughter and her husband.  I really miss my girl....but we had a great weekend.... I'm certain I will see them again...sometime, somewhere....I had a wonderful time, but I WANTED to get home to my husband, I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed....but I still cried when I said, "goodbye" at the airport....

When the great staff at faith4life Dallas surprised me with a lovely "going away" lunch...I cried.  I was leaving on good terms, I was leaving to follow my husband, I wasn't leaving for any "sad" reason...why did I cry?

Two years ago, as my son and his family were preparing to move from Michigan to Dallas, he posted a video of him and his eldest daughter singing "Saying Goodbye" from Muppets Take Manhattan (a Classic!).  Here are a few lines from that song that touched me:

Saying goodbye
Why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say
Foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye

Saying goodbye is a time to remember the good times you've had, but why cry over good times you've had?  I've often asked myself that question......

I remember when I was moving out of my very first house...it was tiny, it wasn't in the greatest neighborhood, it was sort of a "bare bones" house.  I was moving with my family into a lovely 5 bedroom house with a pool.... a dream come true!  I was so blessed and excited about that move!!!!

Yet.....when I walked into that tiny, empty house for the last time......of course, you guessed it....
I cried!  WHY?  I was remembering the good times we had in that house...bringing the babies home from the hospital, the family gatherings, the friends who would often stop by....

Can anyone relate????

The question to ponder is this:
Do tears shed in "goodbyes" stem from sadness that you'll never have good times again ....or... from deep, sincere gratitude for those wonderful times?

And then, there are final goodbyes to deal with.....

When my brother moved to heaven about 6 months ago, I cried....  He is gone from this earth.... although I know I will see him again, it was painful to say, "goodbye."

My Facebook feed has been filled with posts this week about loved ones who have had to say their final goodbyes (on this earth)....so many in the last week.....

My heart goes out to every person who is dealing with saying goodbye...... My prayer is that along with the tears of sadness (that will come) you will ALSO  recognize tears of deep, sincere gratitude for the good times, the special words, the precious moments, and  the wonderful memories that no one can ever take away.....and that those tears will soon turn to peace that passes all understanding.....

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.....Philippians 4:7

As that peace begins to take root in your heart and in your mind, may it give way to joy....not disrespect or frivolity.....but joy from sincere thankfulness for the good times, the special words, the precious moments, and the wonderful memories that no one can ever take away!

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning...Psalm 30:5

If you're one who is saying goodbye to a loved one, I am praying for you......really....

You will make it through this time of transition.

May your tears of sadness turn to tears of thankfulness as the days go by....and finally,  to joy in knowing that this life, as wonderful as it is, is very short...even if one lives to be 100 years old....what is that....compared to eternity?

Much more to say
Foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye.....

God bless you...do something today to fulfill your purpose....I'll blog ya next week.....

Do You Want to be Right or Do You Want to be Rich? Peace Trumps Perfection

Today....

How important is it to be right?  I don't mean morally or spiritually right.

When I was working in sales, I heard a motivational speaker put it this way:  "Do you want to be right or do you want to be rich?"

In other words, "Don't fight with your clients.  If they like the turquoise Bridesmaids dresses with the gigantic bow in the front, (even though you know they are hideous), don't tell them that all of their taste is in their mouth! Sell the dresses, get the commission, and everybody's happy!

Do you want to be right or do you want to be rich....not just financially rich, but rich in friends, rich in peace, rich in joy?

Is being right really worth the fight?

Some people, and (I hate to say it) especially Christians, can be the biggest fight-pickers in the world!

I guess this stems from believing that there is only one way that is right....when it comes to EVERYTHING...and the RIGHT WAY IS MY WAY!!!!

The logic might come from thought processes like these---

"My life is based on the B-I-B-L-E, so every decision I make is based on God's Word.  How can you argue with that?"

"I hear from God.  Since I hear from God, then what I think is always right."   

"I am committed to this project.  If you were as committed as I, then you would agree with me."   

 "I am empowered.  I will NOT be a doormat.  You will NOT walk all over me. I am strong.  I am smart.  I am capable.  Therefore, I am always right."

But....Really....Is ANYONE ALWAYS right?

And yet......Honestly.....EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS THEY'RE RIGHT..... No one ever thinks they're wrong....try to follow my logic here...

If people thought they were wrong, then they wouldn't hold the position they hold. If they thought their position was wrong (if they had any brains), they would change it to the right position."

Did that make sense?

The Bible puts it this way:  "All a man's ways seem innocent to him."  (Proverbs 16:2)

I think I'm right.  You think you're right.  Is it worth a fight? Abraham Lincoln said, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."

Some things are worth a fight....
I would fight to the death to protect my children or grandchildren.
I would fight tooth and nail to keep another woman away from my husband.
I would fight tyrannical leaders or systems that rob people of their freedom or treat people unjustly.

I would fight an alligator...well, I'd shoot it...if it crawled out of the pond in my neighborhood and went after my dog (which is a distinct possibility living in southern Louisiana). :-)

But really.....
Is it worth the fight in the office over whose fault that error was?  Why not just fix the problem and move forward ?  Yea,  co-workers may throw you under the bus and make it look like it was all your fault and you know very well it wasn't, but what goes around comes around....FOR REAL!  I've lived long enough to see it work....THE TRUTH EVENTUALLY COMES FORWARD....

Is it worth the fight at home over who was supposed to pay the water bill?  You could just pay the bill....or you could berate your spouse, who YOU KNOW was the one who was supposed to pay that bill...yea, go ahead and beat him/her up verbally....that will do a lot of good....NOT!

Is it worth the fight in the church over where you sit?   You know, at that church where the usher asks you to sit in a certain seat, and that is NOT where you like to be....Should you really let it loose on him?  THAT GUY IS A VOLUNTEER.  He's only following directions.

Is it worth the fight with the police officer who pulled you over........ you weren't speeding, your tags aren't expired, your brake lights work, your seatbelt was fastened.......HE HAD NO JUSTIFIED REASON TO PULL YOU OVER!!!
STILL...he is authorized to use force, you are not!  ARE YOU CRAZY???   IT'S NOT WORTH THE FIGHT!

I guess people could look at my style of dealing with conflict and say that I was "too soft," but my position has always been that PEACE TRUMPS PERFECTION.  I think my way is perfect, but peace is more important.  Of course I think that there is a perfect solution to the problem at work, but peace is more important.

One of my mottos in raising my kids was from 1 Peter 3:10-11---
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.  He must turn from evil and do good:  he must seek peace and pursue it.

Yes, there is a time to fight. (Ecc. 3:8)   There are times to take up arms, but not in the office, in the home, or in the church, and certainly not when the police officer pulls you over....ARE YOU CRAZY???

Today I read Habakkuk 1:3-4 and I thought about our homes, our churches, and our nation.
There is strife, and conflict abounds.  Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails.

The Word of God is paralyzed and justice is thwarted in our nation, in our churches, and in our homes when strife and conflict abounds. Strife and conflict.....everybody trying to prove that he/she is right...

I wish I could get this message to the President and his Cabinet...and the Congress....and the Judicial Branch...and the Media....but I'll start with me and my house, and hopefully you and your house:

YES, YOU MAY BE RIGHT....but do you want to be right or do you want to be rich?

I'll take rich....rich in blessing, rich in peace, rich in joy, rich in love.

How about you?

Let me hear from you!

I'll blog ya next week.  In the meantime, do something today to fulfill your purpose.....