The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step....out of the mess and into God's Best

Today.....

Go one more......One....more....step....

Take it!  Take one more step today!  One more step out of and one more step into......
Out of the mess and into God's best

There have been times that I have, quite honestly, been completely overwhelmed with life....really...really....overwhelmed.....

I've often heard preachers say that everyone should have a God sized dream...something that you know you couldn't do on your own....something so big that it would be overwhelming to do without Him.

Yes!  And I do....but there was a time that I wasn't trying to get to a dream or goal, I was just praying to get out of a horrible situation.....

Those days were like living in a fog (and I don't mean the catchy acronym for "Favor of God"!).

Sometimes it was hard to breathe, let alone see the way out. You may have experienced something like that...or maybe you are right now.  I wish I could tell you that God will come in, pick you up, and fly you over the fog to the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but I'm not going to.....

Because the way out is usually through.....and you can't get through by standing still!

Did you play "Mother May I" when you were little?  You needed at least 3-4 kids for the game.

One was the mother; that person stood on one side of the yard.  The rest of the kids lined up at the other end of the yard and asked the "mother" if they could take certain kinds of steps.  "Mother, may I take 10 baby steps?"  "Mother, may I take 3 giant steps?" 

Some of us would get really creative- "Mother, may I take 5 ballerina steps?"  This would involve leaps and pirouettes that would hopefully equal or supersede the "giant steps."  Normally being the one with the shortest legs required that I think outside of the box!

The player who reached mother first was the winner.

Here's the thing though....mother could deny your request, which means you just stood in the same place until mother decided to let you move forward!

Unless your best friend was in that role, your goose was pretty much cooked.  UGH!  I hated it when the mother was unfair....and she usually was!

Thankfully, there was a limit on the number of denials mother could give each player, and you'd better believe I kept track!  Once that limit was met, Katie bar the door....it was giant step after giant step!

Life can be that way.....I'm trying not to use the cliche, "Life isn't fair"....oops, I just used it......

If you feel like you are stuck standing still...either in the fog of problems or in the pursuit of something great, know that you can't stay motionless forever!!!  Sooner or later, you're going to be able to take a step.....and when that time comes, TAKE IT!

Maybe you've taken the first step out of.....or into....and then you look ahead and realize how much further you have to go.....the fog of problems still surrounds you....or the goal still seems so far away...

DON'T GIVE UP!  Get out of the fog....go through it.....one step at a time....

YOU CAN DO IT!
YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH IT!

As you break out of the fog, you'll move towards the goals and dreams....and you know what?  Achieving great goals happens the same way that you get out of the fog of problems.....
ONE STEP AT A TIME

Take one more step TODAY!  The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step!

This song MOTIVATED me.....a whole bunch....when I had to take those steps through.....still one of my favs.......

.....I don't own this song.... "One More" by SuperChick....from their album released WAY BACK in 2008...."Rock What You've Got".....I highly recommend it for anyone GOING THROUGH!!!!!  You can find it on Youtube.....but here are the lyrics....you should listen to it!  It will fire you up!!!

It feels like I have lost this fight
They think that I am staying down
But I'm not giving up tonight
Tonight the wall is coming down
I am stronger than my fears
This is the mountain that I climb
Got 100 steps to go
Tonight I'll make it 99

One more
Go one more
Yeah, yeah
Don't stop now
Go one more
Yeah, yeah
One more

Go one more
Go one more
Yeah, yeah

I have everything to lose
By not getting up to fight
I might get used to giving up
So I am showing up tonight
I am my own enemy
The battle fought within my mind
If I can overcome step one
I can face the 99

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil:  for thou are with me; thy rod and they staff they comfort me.....Psalm 23:4

Begin your journey today by taking a single step....out of the mess and into God's best!

If this blog encouraged you, please share it!  I'd love to hear from you!!!

I'll blog you next week... until then....do something TODAY to fulfill your purpose!

P.S.  It may interest my regular readers to know that the AMAZING MR. BRINTNALL had a Christian Rock Band that OPENED FOR SUPERCHICK several times!!!  That, along with his proper use of a semi-colon, secured his place in my heart!  

My Odd Life-Waiting at the airport for your ship to come in? Love at First Write...

Today....

The blog you've been waiting for....well, at least someone is waiting for it....

One of my dear readers messaged me after last week's blog asking what the Amazing Mr. Brintnall wrote in his first email to me that got my attention.... Would you like to know?

Hmmmmmm...........Should I tell you?  Really, this is pretty personal stuff......

I am sharing some pretty intimate things.....because I have rarely (if ever) heard anyone else talk about this......... I believe there is a lesson here....for singles, yes...but if you're married, please read on....this will encourage you and add some FIRE to your marriage....I promise!

First, I want to express my empathy (not sympathy, mind you) for singles who want to be married.........and have been waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting....ad infinitum.......I know what it feels like to hear married people, (who will get in bed with their spouse tonight) tell you what a "wonderful thing it is to be single....you can do whatever you want to do"...except put together furniture from IKEA.....because that ALWAYS takes two people! :-)  

I understood that they were trying to encourage us single folk....and there were some things I LOVED about being single....
I ENJOYED eating nothing but salad every night for dinner....(men don't normally go for that-the Amazing Mr. Brintnall has made that clear!).....
I LOVED the fact that laundry was easy....the house stayed clean....AND there weren't hairs all over my bathroom.....
I NEVER had any disagreements about how I spent my money!!!!!

I wasn't DESPERATE to be married, but I knew (and my pastor had confirmed it) that I was not meant to be single for the rest of my life.....and since I am not in my 20s or 30s, that meant I would not be waiting 20 or 30 years.....

Don't get me wrong....Don't rush into a relationship....especially if you are looking for a person to "make you happy."  I was happy and complete as an individual.  I laughed.  I had friends. I served God. I had a great job/ministry.........I just couldn't put IKEA furniture together......and that was such a bummer! :-) 

Seriously, though.....It's ALWAYS better to wait AS LONG AS IT TAKES..... than to run into the wrong relationship!  YIKES!  Don't do THAT!!!  Never get desperate and "settle for"!   

But....some people are waiting at the airport for their ship to come in........uhhhh....  Ships don't come in at the airport.....

Others are professional "tire kickers" when it comes to relationships.......
They determine the possible future in a relationship by focusing on the tires, the rims, and the shiny chrome....if the tires are a little worn down and the chrome has lost its luster, they write "that one" off.......but there are only so many Denzel Washingtons and George Clooneys out there.....

If you haven't read last week's blog, you should....it is about following your heart without disconnecting your brain....and how I left the airport and went to the harbor where ships come in.....As a disclaimer, I want to say that everyone's ship won't come in at the same harbor....your harbor may be different than mine.....you need to listen to Holy Spirit, get wise counsel, and use wisdom (as mentioned in last week's blog!) Still, you've got to get to your harbor to meet your ship-it may be another city, state, volunteer association, etc........God will lead you!  
(That will preach.....but I digress.....)

The harbor into which my ship sailed was an online Christian dating website.  I had resisted going that route because it was so......so.......well, you know.....

What I learned about meeting someone online can help you regardless of where you meet, or what stage your relationship is in....even if you are already married!

Now about kicking those tires..... I've heard about "those lists" some single women have....the requirements to be "spouse material"......
1. Height between  6' and 6'4"
2. Muscular build
3. Must have hair.....but on head only.......back hair excludes one from contention
4. Teeth must be as white and straight as chiclets.....
5. Must make at least $100,000/year and drive a status-mobile, but not be overly devoted to work....
6.  Wardrobe must be GQ worthy...designer shoes, suits, AND jeans only....
7. Must pray like the Apostle Paul, talk like their pastor, and walk on water...like Jesus!  :-)

I honestly haven't spoken to too many single men about their lists.....but I am sure they have some similar items on their lists.....

Chalk it up to my age, experience, or plain old common sense, here's what was on my list...

1. Must be a serious Christian.
2. Must be filled with Holy Spirit.
3. Must be gainfully employed.
4. Must make more money than I.
5. Must be financially responsible.

There were unwritten things on my list....for example....I needed to find him interesting...duh...and we had to have complimentary political views...because.....I can get pretty fired up about those things....and.....yea...that could be messy.....

The vehicle of an online introduction allowed me to focus on those important things....I didn't know what kind of car he drove, or whether his clothes were from Neiman Marcus or the local farm supply store (it turned out to be the latter....)....and the hair thing.....well....never mind!  :-) He met all my qualifications.......I learned about his character, his walk with the Lord, and what he really valued.  I found out he had a good vocabulary, was an excellent writer....and he knew how to use a semi-colon properly!  (I think the proper punctuation is what really won me over!)

We expressed ourselves more completely and honestly than we would have if we had met in the grocery store and gone to dinner several times.

I still have most of our correspondence....the Amazing Mr. Brintnall printed the emails he could recover and put them in a binder for me....as I read them today, my heart still goes "pitter-patter."

Married folk....if you want to FIRE UP your marriage, start WRITING TO ONE ANOTHER!  Share your heart with your spouse in writing.... use email....or Facebook messaging .......texts......or old fashioned paper and pen.......write about your core values, how God is speaking to you, what first attracted you to your spouse, experiences that have taught you important lessons in life, your family background, your hopes and dreams for the future....and always include words of affirmation and love for your husband/wife.

Keep a journal of precious moments together....the day you got married, the birth of your children, the struggles and the victories you've shared, changes, adjustments, joys, sadness, celebrations, and the importance of being together through it all.....

Write them down....and read them often....
It will remind you of the precious love and relationship you have!  It will make your heart go "pitter patter"!  :-)

So....what was in that first email that got my attention?  Nothing much, really....but I could tell he had a sense of humor, was intelligent, confident in who he was; he thought I was beautiful (from my photo), and he knew what was really important in life.

We lost that introductory email, but I still remember it...verbatim...(To understand this email, you should know that on my profile I wrote that I would consider someone a little younger than I because I was "younger than my birth certificate.")

"OK, so you're gorgeous, articulate, and focused on all the good stuff. What the heck are you doing on here? Oh, and by the way, I may be outside of the age range you're looking for, but you aren't the only one who is "younger than your birth certificate!" With all that out of the way, how ya doing today?" 

And so it began.....as I mentioned last week...I followed my heart, but I didn't disconnect my brain.....It truly was love at first write.....

BE ENCOURAGED.....whether you are married or single....male or female....
God's got good things for you....let Him direct you to your harbor.  Your ship will come in....whether your ship is a spouse or a business deal or a ministry opportunity! But you can't be waiting in the wrong place!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5-6

If you got something out of this blog, please share it!  I would love to hear from you!

I'll blog you next week; until then....
Write something........and do something today to fulfill your purpose!

Follow Your Heart, but Don't Disconnect Your Brain- How I Met the Amazing Mr. Brintnall- Part 2

Today....

I want to encourage you to follow your heart...but don't disconnect your brain....

What is on your heart that you've held back because it was new or different?

Inventions? Business ideas? Investments? 

Getting that College Degree?  A Relationship? 



Is there anything in your heart to do that you haven't done because people of/in your
______________________________ (fill in the blank- sex, marital status, socio-economic group, age group, race, church, job, educational level, city, state, country, etc....) don't normally do it that way?

My life in the ministry is rather public...... I'm not as famous Joyce Meyer....my life isn't on the huge jumbo-tron screen like someone of her renown.....but it is still public....

That's part of "the deal" of being in the ministry....The Apostle Paul told the Christians in Philippi, "Dear brothers and sisters, pattern your lives after mine, and learn from those who follow our example." (Philippians 3:17) 

Pattern your lives after mine.....WHEW!  That's a pretty big responsibility! Ministry is more than a 9-5 job.  You are never really "off." My life (and any minister's life) is constantly on display as an example..... 

I've heard people in the ministry bemoan the fact that they live in a "fishbowl," but that is part of the deal!  If you can't handle it, do something else!  

Seriously....if you don't like working with pipes, don't be a plumber....if you don't like working with numbers, accounting is not a good career choice....and if you can't handle life in the fishbowl.....DO NOT.... I REPEAT......DO NOT...... go into the ministry......

While it is part of "the deal"......the problem with the fishbowl is that it can box you into what "they" think.  
You know, "It's ALWAYS been done this way before...." 

"What will they think if I do this differently?"

"That's not the way so-and-so did it." 

PKs (preacher's kids) often leave the church because of the fishbowl life....

I always told my kids we were SUPPOSED to live like CHRISTIANS......being in the ministry had NOTHING to do with it!

YES....ALL THE TIME...live like the Bible says......if we did that, we didn't have to worry about the fishbowl......

THE FISHBOWL DIDN'T HAVE TO LIMIT THEIR CREATIVITY, ABILITIES, or PURSUITS. 
And if you know my kids, you know it didn't.....

Fishbowl or not, we had limiting factors to what we could. Here are my standards that would limit what we could do as serious Christians-

• IS THIS CONTRARY TO GOD'S WORD?  
• IS IT LED BY HOLY SPIRIT?
• IS NOW THE TIME?

You're probably wondering how this fits into the tale of How I Met the Amazing Mr. Brintnall.....

When I became suddenly single, there was a time of healing that was necessary. (That's for another blog.....) 

Eventually I was ready to consider being married again....but how could a suitable husband ever find me? Here are the ways I expected....because that's they way "everybody" else that I knew had done it......

He could join my church....but that would be awkward to say the least, since I was in a major position of leadership on staff there.....

He could notice me sitting alone at a restaurant, see me bow my head to pray, then approach me politely and begin a conversation. He would ask for my phone number, we would talk, then go out to dinner. He would join my church, and off we would go....I must not have been praying long enough or loud enough over my meals.....cause that never happened....

He could find me through a mutual acquaintance....except.....everybody I knew was married with married friends....it wasn't happening that way.....

Not only did those preconceived notions affect me, but I had to consider how my decisions would affect other people. What kind of example was I setting? Would others be tempted to do something dangerous or immoral by justifying their behavior on something I did?  

I had heard about couples meeting on the internet....but I had also heard from some preachers that "Christian women don't do that." Even though I had considered it, I listened to those voices that said, "We don't do things that way." 

One woman (who also lived in the fishbowl) asked me if I had considered using a Christian "dating" site to meet someone.  I had thought about it. The questions I had to answer were, "Would using a Christian dating site be contrary to any of my life's limiting factors?" 
"Would going online to meet my mate set a bad example?" 

• Was using a Christian "dating" site contrary to the Word of God?
• Here are the arguments against it-
• If a female goes on a website, then the woman is finding the man, and scripture says the man is to find the woman. (Prov. 18:22)
• It could be dangerous....you watch the news, right?
• People don't always tell the truth online. You may not be getting what you think you're getting
• After much prayer and thought, I came to these conclusions regarding those arguments-
• Putting my picture and background information on a website didn't mean I was "going after the man." A Christian dating site is nothing more than an intermediary of introduction....There is a scriptural basis for this... an intermediary found Isaac his wife....(Genesis 24)
• 
  
• It didn't have to be dangerous....I had plans of how I would meet a man in person for the first few times....never alone! If it looked like the friendship could get serious, I would have him interview with some trusted friends before we got into "courting"...besides....I'm always prepared when it comes to personal safety....'nuff said....
• 
  
• People don't always tell the truth online....have you heard the old song, "Online"?  It's not a Christian song....but it's pretty funny.... here are some of the lyrics............. Online I live in Malibu, I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ; I'm single and I'm rich, and I've got a set of six packs that would blow your mind. I'm so much cooler online.  Yeah, I'm so much cooler online...............................  I was fully aware that I could be lied to....but I could be lied to if I met the man at church as well....I knew that if I got into a relationship, I would need to meet the man's pastor and his family. I would need to know if he had a pastor to whom he was accountable. The character of his family and his friends would reveal a lot about his character.  If his best character reference was a beer drinking member of the bowling team...... I would be concerned.....(no offense to bowlers...)
• Was it led by Holy Spirit?
• For me, at this time.....Yes....I can't answer that for anyone else at any other time. 
• I know how He leads me....I had a knowing....that's the best way I can describe it.  
• One night, after some time in prayer, I had a sense that it was time to take that step. I did a search on my iPad for "Christian Dating Sites."  Three popped up. I had heard of two of them, the third one was unknown to me.  I went to that website. It had links to "Focus on the Family."  I later found out that the site screens every picture that is put up and it is the only one of the three that is owned by Christians. 
• Is now the time?
• I knew it was. I had gotten things in order, lived a celibate life since being single, and had been serving God faithfully.
• I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do at the right time.......regardless of what arguments fishbowl observers might have against it.

I believe the parameters I set and the way I handled it did not set a bad example. I was cautious, I had rules for if/when I met a man online....... and I stuck by them.....(maybe on another blog....)

MY HEART SAID, "DO IT."  

I FOLLOWED MY HEART BUT I DID NOT DISCONNECT MY BRAIN AND ACT FOOLISHLY OR DANGEROUSLY!

What about you?

Are there arguments that are keeping you from doing what's on your heart? 

Do you have fishbowl observers who are telling you, "You'd better be careful!" 

"You shouldn't do that."

 "That's not the way we do it" ?

If it's not contrary to God's Word, if it is Holy Spirit led, and if now is the time.....

GO FOR IT----FOLLOW YOUR HEART, BUT DON'T DISCONNECT YOUR BRAIN!

• Get good information
• Seek wise counsel
• Be safe; Set parameters
• Be a wise steward of the time, money, talent your new endeavor will require                                     

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

I did it!  I joined a Christian dating website!  I figured out how to get my picture on all by myself. I normally would ask my tech- savvy kids how to do that..... but I didn't want my kids to freak out because the "Reverend Mother" was joining a Christian dating website......(One of them..who shall remain nameless..... still freaked out.....later!)  :-)

I got lots of "winks" or "nods" or whatever they were called from men....I didn't even respond to those.  I figured, "If you want to say something to me, the say it....be the man!  Start the conversation...don't leave that up to me!"  That was one of my standards I had set.....There's a tip there.....

I got some nice email messages on the site...they were...nice....

Then about 5 days later....I got an email.....that took my breath away.....it was so perfectly written.....for me....guess who it was from?

The Amazing Mr. Brintnall.....His email grabbed my heart.... still I stuck to my guidelines and used my brain....

Follow your heart...whether it has to do with meeting Mr/Mrs Right....or whether it has to do with your next step in achieving your dreams....but don't disconnect your brain....God gave it to you for a reason....

Your God-given dreams will come true!

Until next week.....do something today to fulfill your purpose!

P.S.......If you enjoy my blog, please share it! 

My Odd Life...Comparison is the Death of Joy....

Today......

I've had 2,551 views since October.....Is that good? If so.....then thanks for viewing and sharing!  

If not....then why aren't you sharing this blog?  :-) 

Just kidding....I have no idea if an average of 800 views per month is good or not........ I shall blog on anyway! I know there are at least three of you who look forward to this weekly....so here goes...

People can get discouraged by judging their worth or happiness by the successes of others! They can get stuck in "neutral" because they compare what they are doing to what others are doing, how they are doing it, and when they got it done!

I may think I'm doing great with 2,551 blog views....then one of you will  burst my bubble and inform me that Joyce Meyer has 2 million views per month....Thanks a lot! 
(Disclaimer- I have no idea how many hits Joyce Meyer's nor any other ministry's site gets per month....but I'm sure she gets a WHOLE lot more than 800!)

Can't I just be happy about how far I've come?

Pastors compare sizes of congregations, number of services per week, how many respond for prayer, what kind of building they have.

Traveling ministers compare where they've ministered, how full their calendar is, how many appearances they've had on a Christian TV network.

Credit scores, Job titles, GPAs....

Cars, houses, investments, designer handbags.....

Men compare biceps. Women compare.....well, you know....

Mark Twain said, "Comparison is the death of joy."

Take my odd life, for example....most women my age are celebrating decades of marriage....I've started over again......going on 18 months....(BTW...the honeymoon is NOT OVER YET- WOO-HOO!!) 

Most people my age are getting ready for retirement.....I'm starting to launch my itinerant ministry.

Most people my age have established a "home base" where the grandkids know that GG and Papa live.... you know....where everyone gathers for holiday meals and such......I have moved every 27 months for the past 17 years......I have to remind my mother where I live......

If I compared my life with "most people" I could be discouraged.....but I'm not! I'm excited! I'm joyful! I'm anticipating great things!  My odd life has given me many rich life experiences...not all have been good...but they have all been rich! 

Conversely, there may be some who compare their lives to mine.....and are tempted to think, "Man, she gets all the breaks.....I wish I lived in the sugar cane fields of Southern Louisiana....."  

When I married the AMAZING MR. MICHAEL A. BRINTNALL (after being single for only a little over three years) someone said to me, "WOW. THAT WAS FAST!"  

Maybe for YOU it was fast....but for me.....it wasn't so fast! 

For the Amazing Mr. Brintnall and me...... it was the exact right time!

I was tempted to compare myself to others when we were courting....."What will people think? So- and-so has been single for over a decade, and here I am....considering marrying this man after being single only three years! Will people think I'm in sin?" 

I am extremely happily married to the Amazing Mr. Brintnall because I followed God. I listened to HIS direction. I followed peace. I did get the approval of my spiritual father, but I didn't wait for him to tell me, " Thus saith the Lord, 'This is your husband.'" 

The timing and the way in which I met the Amazing Mr. Brintnall did not fit any of the preconceived notions I had. It did not measure up to any comparisons that had been put in front of me as examples........

How many opportunities have you missed because of comparisons like these?

• No one in my family has ever.......
• The people in my circle of influence only.....
• I heard someone say that you should ALWAYS....
• I've never seen it done that way before.....

God may have something for you to do that no one has ever done before, in a way that no one has ever done it, at a time in life when no one else would dare to do it.

Don't compare your situation with another individual's. You are unique. Your situation is different. You may have jumped through some hurdles that others haven't, but you may also have some advantages that others don't have.

I want to encourage you today to avoid comparison. Do what YOU are supposed to do, the way you are supposed to do it, in the timing that is right for YOU! Here are some tips for moving forward without comparison-

• Seek wise counsel from those who are committed to your success, but don't seek their control.
• Pray. Listen. Follow whatever direction brings peace to your heart.
• When it's time to take that step into what YOU are supposed to do, you will know.
• Don't try to take huge leaps, just take one step at a time and pretty soon you'll see that you've made a leap!
• Get so busy doing and becoming better at what you are supposed to do, that you don't have the time to compare yourself to others.

TODAY.....I began to tell you about how I met the AMAZING MR. BRINTNALL....wait until you hear the rest of the story!

Check in next week. I'll blog more then. Until then, do something today to fulfill your purpose!

AND..... DON'T LET ANYONE KILL YOUR JOY!!!