Thursday, November 20, 2014

My Odd Life- Part 1

Today........

It occurred to me that my life is really.....odd....

I have moved an average of once every 27 months for the last 16 years of my life.

The moves began when I relocated from the beautiful dessert of Phoenix to the ice capped, pot-holed streets of the Detroit area.....

WHO DOES THAT?  

Complete strangers in Michigan would hear that I moved from Phoenix to Detroit, and all they would say was....."WHY?"

The weather was a HUGE culture shock, and not only that....

I went to the Detroit area to love, serve, and learn at an AMAZING, WONDERFUL church....with a culture that was completely foreign to me...... I was CLUELESS!!!

Until that time, I never knew anything about "shout music," I had never, ever listened to Gospel Music, I didn't know how to sway properly, and never attended a church where the choir actually wore robes! 

I didn't know that jeans (which are appropriate for ANY occasion in the west) were not acceptable attire; I didn't know people still wore hats to church, and the only macaroni and cheese my kids had ever eaten up to that point came out of a little blue box. 

When my daughter first saw home-made macaroni and cheese, she asked what it was....when she was told it was macaroni and cheese, she said, "No, it's not....mac and cheese doesn't look like that!"  Well....not in our house, at least up to that time......

That may have offended our friend who had just worked so hard on making that amazing pan of lusciousness....

I probably said some things to people that were offensive back then....simply because....I REALLY didn't know!  SO.....PLEASE....Accept my apologies!

I just didn't know.....People even talked differently there.  

Shortly after the move, someone asked me, "Where ya staying at?"  That indicated to me that he thought we were only visiting.  I replied, "Oh, we live here now."  

He answered, "Yea, so where ya staying at?"  

This conversation was taking place in the large sanctuary, and there was a lot of background noise, so I figured he just didn't hear me.   I reiterated, trying to speak VERY CLEARLY....  "WE LIVE HERE NOW.  WE'RE NOT STAYING IN A HOTEL ANY LONGER.  WE ARE IN A HOUSE."  

God bless him; he continued the conversation...."Yea, so where ya staying...are you in Ferndale or Farmington Hills or Southfield?"

Finally the light went on for me.....OHHHHH.....He means, "Where are you living?"!!!!

Where I came from, the word "stay" had a temporary connotation...you stay at a hotel (i.e.  "We're staying at the Marriott").

The word "live" would be used in reference to the family home (i.e.  "We live in Louisiana").

People used abbreviations for things that were unintelligible to me.  I quietly asked a trusted friend what the abbreviations meant, and when I was told, I realized that it was something I should never say.....because  if I said it, it would have been considered wholly inappropriate ....but it took some painful mistakes to figure those things out....

I am eternally grateful for the friends who took me aside back then and lovingly explained things I didn't understand or things I was doing that were misunderstood!  God bless you, every one!!!

Sometimes I laugh out loud at where I've been and what I've done.  If there was ever a non-candidate for this type of life, it would have been me....or so you'd have thought from looking at my upbringing.....

I was always taught to be accepting of people, regardless of their ethnicity.  People are valuable to God.  Period.  I was taught to judge people by their character, and not their skin color. I was taught that we all have the same Maker, and He is no respecter of persons.......but I grew up in culturally and racially monochromatic neighborhoods and private schools.  

How did I get to the Detroit area?  Well, the simple part of the story is that the family moved there so mom and dad could attend Bible School and serve in the ministry..... 

But Detroit?  REALLY?

Our lives are sewn together with thin threads that lead you to the next step.  Sometimes those threads go unnoticed.....but the words you speak,  the prayers you pray, the books you read, and the people you associate with will determine where you are in 5, 10, or 15 years...

Years before I wound up in Detroit, I prayed about the divisions in the Body of Christ....saying that 11:00a.m. on Sundays should not be the most segregated hour in America....

And there I was....wearing a choir robe (in which I always felt completely out-of-sorts),  learning to sway, running to "shout music," getting rid of my jeans, and learning to make macaroni and cheese sans the blue box. 

A lot of people talk about helping America cross the racial divide, but few are willing to step over and make the effort to understand or even function in another culture....because it sounds a lot easier than it is!

I am thankful for for my pastor, who had a vision of a multi-cultural church, and I am thankful for the people who explained things to me and accepted me with my "strange" ways....

Here's the thing.....just because something is "strange" to you doesn't mean its wrong.  Choir robes were very strange to me...that doesn't make them wrong! I'm still not crazy about Gospel or Rap music, but as long as the lyrics are positive...hey....listen or sing away! 

On the other hand, if you really want to build a cross-cultural church (or any kind of organization) it would behoove you to be able to see things from lots of perspectives...Choir robes may be great, but is wearing jeans to church really a horrible thing?  Can you handle some contemporary worship along with your Gospel music? 

That move from Phoenix to Detroit was extremely difficult for me.....  I think I cried every day for 2 years......the weather was....so....ruthless, and, honestly...sometimes people were....

However...... I am so, so, so thankful that God found me available to love, serve, and learn at one of the most amazing churches in America!  

He opened my eyes to a lot of things that I never even knew were issues for people of a different race.  My life has been incredibly enriched, and I pray that I was a blessing to that organization and to individuals there as well.  

I encourage you to reach out today, reach across the dividing lines....your way isn't the only way....honor others as valuable, and learn something today!

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female; for ye are all one in Christ Jesus.....Galatians 3:28

I am still following God's direction, these 16 years later, and my life is still quite odd...

That is where we will pick up next week...in "My Odd Life-Part 2"

I'll blog ya next week, but maybe not on Thursday...it's Thanksgiving!  Until then, do something to fulfill your purpose!

















Thursday, November 13, 2014

Saying Goodbye.....

Today....I'm thinking about saying goodbye....

Oh, how I dislike it!  Is there anyone who enjoys saying goodbye?  Even when the goodbyes ARE ACTUALLY GOOD.....I still don't like them.... For instance.....

I spent last weekend with my daughter and her husband.  I really miss my girl....but we had a great weekend.... I'm certain I will see them again...sometime, somewhere....I had a wonderful time, but I WANTED to get home to my husband, I was looking forward to sleeping in my own bed....but I still cried when I said, "goodbye" at the airport....

When the great staff at faith4life Dallas surprised me with a lovely "going away" lunch...I cried.  I was leaving on good terms, I was leaving to follow my husband, I wasn't leaving for any "sad" reason...why did I cry?

Two years ago, as my son and his family were preparing to move from Michigan to Dallas, he posted a video of him and his eldest daughter singing "Saying Goodbye" from Muppets Take Manhattan (a Classic!).  Here are a few lines from that song that touched me:

Saying goodbye
Why is it sad?
Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say
Foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye

Saying goodbye is a time to remember the good times you've had, but why cry over good times you've had?  I've often asked myself that question......

I remember when I was moving out of my very first house...it was tiny, it wasn't in the greatest neighborhood, it was sort of a "bare bones" house.  I was moving with my family into a lovely 5 bedroom house with a pool.... a dream come true!  I was so blessed and excited about that move!!!!

Yet.....when I walked into that tiny, empty house for the last time......of course, you guessed it....
I cried!  WHY?  I was remembering the good times we had in that house...bringing the babies home from the hospital, the family gatherings, the friends who would often stop by....

Can anyone relate????

The question to ponder is this:
Do tears shed in "goodbyes" stem from sadness that you'll never have good times again ....or... from deep, sincere gratitude for those wonderful times?

And then, there are final goodbyes to deal with.....

When my brother moved to heaven about 6 months ago, I cried....  He is gone from this earth.... although I know I will see him again, it was painful to say, "goodbye."

My Facebook feed has been filled with posts this week about loved ones who have had to say their final goodbyes (on this earth)....so many in the last week.....

My heart goes out to every person who is dealing with saying goodbye...... My prayer is that along with the tears of sadness (that will come) you will ALSO  recognize tears of deep, sincere gratitude for the good times, the special words, the precious moments, and  the wonderful memories that no one can ever take away.....and that those tears will soon turn to peace that passes all understanding.....

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding shall keep your hearts and minds through Jesus Christ.....Philippians 4:7

As that peace begins to take root in your heart and in your mind, may it give way to joy....not disrespect or frivolity.....but joy from sincere thankfulness for the good times, the special words, the precious moments, and the wonderful memories that no one can ever take away!

Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning...Psalm 30:5

If you're one who is saying goodbye to a loved one, I am praying for you......really....

You will make it through this time of transition.

May your tears of sadness turn to tears of thankfulness as the days go by....and finally,  to joy in knowing that this life, as wonderful as it is, is very short...even if one lives to be 100 years old....what is that....compared to eternity?

Much more to say
Foolish to try
It's time for saying goodbye.....

God bless you...do something today to fulfill your purpose....I'll blog ya next week.....












Thursday, November 6, 2014

Do You Want to be Right or Do You Want to be Rich? Peace Trumps Perfection

Today....

How important is it to be right?  I don't mean morally or spiritually right.

When I was working in sales, I heard a motivational speaker put it this way:  "Do you want to be right or do you want to be rich?"

In other words, "Don't fight with your clients.  If they like the turquoise Bridesmaids dresses with the gigantic bow in the front, (even though you know they are hideous), don't tell them that all of their taste is in their mouth! Sell the dresses, get the commission, and everybody's happy!

Do you want to be right or do you want to be rich....not just financially rich, but rich in friends, rich in peace, rich in joy?

Is being right really worth the fight?

Some people, and (I hate to say it) especially Christians, can be the biggest fight-pickers in the world!

I guess this stems from believing that there is only one way that is right....when it comes to EVERYTHING...and the RIGHT WAY IS MY WAY!!!!

The logic might come from thought processes like these---

"My life is based on the B-I-B-L-E, so every decision I make is based on God's Word.  How can you argue with that?"

"I hear from God.  Since I hear from God, then what I think is always right."   

"I am committed to this project.  If you were as committed as I, then you would agree with me."   

 "I am empowered.  I will NOT be a doormat.  You will NOT walk all over me. I am strong.  I am smart.  I am capable.  Therefore, I am always right."

But....Really....Is ANYONE ALWAYS right?

And yet......Honestly.....EVERYONE ALWAYS THINKS THEY'RE RIGHT..... No one ever thinks they're wrong....try to follow my logic here...

If people thought they were wrong, then they wouldn't hold the position they hold. If they thought their position was wrong (if they had any brains), they would change it to the right position."

Did that make sense?

The Bible puts it this way:  "All a man's ways seem innocent to him."  (Proverbs 16:2)

I think I'm right.  You think you're right.  Is it worth a fight? Abraham Lincoln said, "A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still."

Some things are worth a fight....
I would fight to the death to protect my children or grandchildren.
I would fight tooth and nail to keep another woman away from my husband.
I would fight tyrannical leaders or systems that rob people of their freedom or treat people unjustly.

I would fight an alligator...well, I'd shoot it...if it crawled out of the pond in my neighborhood and went after my dog (which is a distinct possibility living in southern Louisiana). :-)

But really.....
Is it worth the fight in the office over whose fault that error was?  Why not just fix the problem and move forward ?  Yea,  co-workers may throw you under the bus and make it look like it was all your fault and you know very well it wasn't, but what goes around comes around....FOR REAL!  I've lived long enough to see it work....THE TRUTH EVENTUALLY COMES FORWARD....

Is it worth the fight at home over who was supposed to pay the water bill?  You could just pay the bill....or you could berate your spouse, who YOU KNOW was the one who was supposed to pay that bill...yea, go ahead and beat him/her up verbally....that will do a lot of good....NOT!

Is it worth the fight in the church over where you sit?   You know, at that church where the usher asks you to sit in a certain seat, and that is NOT where you like to be....Should you really let it loose on him?  THAT GUY IS A VOLUNTEER.  He's only following directions.

Is it worth the fight with the police officer who pulled you over........ you weren't speeding, your tags aren't expired, your brake lights work, your seatbelt was fastened.......HE HAD NO JUSTIFIED REASON TO PULL YOU OVER!!!
STILL...he is authorized to use force, you are not!  ARE YOU CRAZY???   IT'S NOT WORTH THE FIGHT!

I guess people could look at my style of dealing with conflict and say that I was "too soft," but my position has always been that PEACE TRUMPS PERFECTION.  I think my way is perfect, but peace is more important.  Of course I think that there is a perfect solution to the problem at work, but peace is more important.

One of my mottos in raising my kids was from 1 Peter 3:10-11---
Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech.  He must turn from evil and do good:  he must seek peace and pursue it.

Yes, there is a time to fight. (Ecc. 3:8)   There are times to take up arms, but not in the office, in the home, or in the church, and certainly not when the police officer pulls you over....ARE YOU CRAZY???

Today I read Habakkuk 1:3-4 and I thought about our homes, our churches, and our nation.
There is strife, and conflict abounds.  Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails.

The Word of God is paralyzed and justice is thwarted in our nation, in our churches, and in our homes when strife and conflict abounds. Strife and conflict.....everybody trying to prove that he/she is right...

I wish I could get this message to the President and his Cabinet...and the Congress....and the Judicial Branch...and the Media....but I'll start with me and my house, and hopefully you and your house:

YES, YOU MAY BE RIGHT....but do you want to be right or do you want to be rich?

I'll take rich....rich in blessing, rich in peace, rich in joy, rich in love.

How about you?

Let me hear from you!

I'll blog ya next week.  In the meantime, do something today to fulfill your purpose.....













Thursday, October 30, 2014

Suddenly Single....What to Do....How to Help...

Today....

I'm going to follow up...sort of...on the last post, "Divorced and Remarried ....as a Preacher."

If you read last week's post, you know that I was divorced after being married for 30 years.

When the situation happened that brought that union to an end, I became SUDDENLY SINGLE.

Literally, in a split second, I became single.......Not legally, because that took some time, but emotionally, and in practice I became single....after 30 years of living life one way....in a split second EVERYTHING changed!

Most of you have been through a similar situation....

Something unexpected, unpredictable, unTHINKABLE  happened, and in a split second EVERYTHING changed!

That's LIFE...

Inherent in life are "suddenlies."   A "suddenly" is something that happens without prior warning.

Maybe it was something you HOPED would EVENTUALLY happen (good suddenlies)...

OR you KNEW THIS WAS A SLIGHT POSSIBILITY of happening (bad suddenlies), but you JUST WEREN'T EXPECTING IT RIGHT NOW....THIS MOMENT...

 Some are good....

  • You get that promotion...suddenly your income increases
  • The pregnancy test comes back positive....suddenly you're going to be a parent
  • You win the Publisher's Clearinghouse sweepstakes...suddenly there's a camera crew at your front door....Just kidding.... :-)
But some suddenlies in life are not good.....you know.....
  • When a spouse passes away...suddenly you're a widow/widower
  • When the lay-off includes you...suddenly you're unemployed
  • When the marriage ends....suddenly you're a divorcee

Anyone with any dose of reality knows that any of these things is possible at any time.  

No one  is guaranteed tomorrow.  

There's no such thing as a "secure job."    

But the marriage thing......you would think I would have had some prior knowledge...some warning...Nope....  Most divorces happen after years of disagreements, fighting, strife, etc....yea, well... that wasn't the case in my situation.

Don't get me wrong.  I believe in faith and prayer.  I believe God can give you favor and even when there are layoffs at your job, they don't have to affect you.  I believe by praying and following peace God will protect our very lives, and I believe that prayer and living the way the Bible says can save marriages....but that's not the point of this blog today.  

The purpose of today's blog is to share from my experience....not from clinical studies or psychological research----  

HOW TO GET THROUGH A PAINFUL SUDDENLY  and
HOW TO HELP A LOVED ONE WHO IS GOING THROUGH A PAINFUL SUDDENLY.....



If you are the one who is "Suddenly Single" or "Suddenly Unemployed"---
  
  • I want to tell you today that you will make it.  You should say it to yourself, "I will get through this."
  
  • Take it one step at a time...tiny steps forward.  It may begin with making your bed or putting on make-up (shaving for men!) 
  
  • At some time you will need to cry. Go ahead.  Do it.   But don't let it last too long.  After you cry, wash your face, get up and make yourself smile...yes, you can do it...it's strictly muscle control...
  
  • You may need to cry again....Go ahead....Follow the same procedure as above...
  
  • Get to know Jesus.  Talk to Him a lot.  

  • Find some music that inspires you and play it loud and often. (For me it was Superchick's "Rock What You've Got" album)
  
  • Talk to yourself a lot...say things that you read in the Bible like, "God is faithful."  "I can do all things through Christ which stregthens me."  "I am not afraid for God is on my side."  " I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise will continually be in my mouth." "If God is for me, who can be against me?"

  • Start being thankful for any little thing you can think of....ANYTHING...  "I'm thankful that I can still work.  I'm thankful that I have all my legs and arms and toes and fingers."  Seriously....

  • When people offer to help, receive it.

  • If people don't offer to help, ask them anyway...but you've got to know who to ask!

  • There's a whole lot more I want to say to you....but that would take another post or two or three...or in a message I preach...or maybe a book....Too much for one blog for sure...BUT YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!!!


If you are a friend or family member of someone who is dealing with a Painful Suddenly---(these particularly apply to those who are "Suddenly Single" due to death or divorce)

  • Someone needs to be with him/her.  Females with females; males with males...if the person is in a city without extended family or friends (like I was) get there and be with your loved one.  Don't worry about what you will do when you get there.  You will know.  

  • A close family member or friend should call that person every day for several months.  If you can call at approximately the same time every day, that is optimum....  Just call.  Let the loved one talk about whatever...it may be about something that happened that day that had to be handled in regard to the crisis, it may be about work, family, whatever.  The call may be super short or long. Just call.

  • Send money.  Don't worry about whether it will offend your loved one.  Crisis always create added financial problems which create.... more pressure and problems.   Don't ASK them if they need money...they DO...just send some if you can!

  • Visit, call, take the person out to eat (men with men; women with women). Let that person open up as he/she is comfortable.

  • Help the loved one clean out the closet, garage, go through paperwork, have a garage sale....when he/she is ready.

  • If  the hurting person is more of an acquaintance than a friend, it's OK to let him/her know you're praying or to even send a card or money...but don't text them trying to pry information out of them...if they want you to know about the situation, they will tell you...

  • Don't tell them you know how they feel.  Enough said.

  • Pray for them.  Send them encouraging cards/letters/emails.


Finally...

A dear, dear friend who took me in as family shared the following scripture with me as I fought my way through the time of crisis.  It remains one of my "go to" Words of encouragement.  Know this and know it well:

Romans 15:13  May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

I can preach on that for at least 45 minutes...or 10 pages...but that will have to be for another day.

Be filled with joy and peace as you trust in God today!  

I'll blog ya next week....in the meantime, do something today to fulfill your purpose!
















Thursday, October 23, 2014

Divorced and remarried.... as a preacher?

Today I feel led to blog about...

Divorce and Remarriage as a Bible believing Christian...and as a preacher!

I really don't want to blog about this.  It's too...personal...controversial...and downright explosive...but I sense it is the message for today...so, here goes...

Let me begin by saying that God's best is for you to seriously seek Him before marrying, and for your marriage to be "till death do us part."

Divorce is not an escape hatch for being married to someone who seems incompatible, difficult, or who doesn't share your life goals or meet your expectations!  

Maybe the complaining spouse needs to adjust her/his attitude and let God work on the mate!  Trust God.  Pray.  Learn to meet each other's needs.  Serve one another.  Husbands need respect.  Wives need love.  Get counseling.  Change.  Adapt.  Adjust.  Do it!  Work it out! It is worth it!

I have never counseled anyone to get a divorce. I'm not saying there aren't situations where divorce is an acceptable course of action, but as a counselor, I understand that decisions of that gravity have to be made according to the Bible and between the individual and God.

Sometimes... stuff happens...Stuff that one of the spouses just can't control...people make choices that affect others.  Sometimes there is physical or emotional abuse or abandonment.  Sometimes there is unrepentant infidelity...

Most of my readers probably know a little bit of my story.  After a 30 year marriage,  I was divorced.  

This is not the time to go through the details of that situation, but let me tell you why I am still in the ministry.

How I can still hold ministerial credentials and preach the Word of God as a divorced and remarried woman? Isn't that against the Bible?

There was a time when I thought it absolutely was...

I was raised a Roman Catholic.  I was taught that if a person divorced, due to marital unfaithfulness or abuse (which were the only acceptable reasons) that person had to live celibate the rest of his/her life.  Many Bible believing Christians think the same way.

This belief is based on Jesus' words in Matthew 5:31-32:  It has been said, 'Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce.'  But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery, and anyone who marries a woman so divorced commits adultery.

Well, there you go...EXCEPT...

How do you reconcile Jesus' words with Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7?

Paul covers many personal issues in 1 Corinthians 7, and it must be read in context to get a clear picture of what he is saying...

There's a whole lot of mess going on today due to taking one or two lines of the Bible out of context!

If you don't understand the context, you could say that Paul is promoting a celibate clergy...
It is good for a man not to marry...1 Corinthians 7:1
I would like you to be free from concern.  An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs-how he can please the Lord...1 Corinthians 7:32
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs:  Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.  But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world...1 Corinthians 7:34

Taking another verse out of context would promote that singles should NEVER get married and that widows should not remarry!!!
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say:  It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I am.  1Corinthians 7:8

There's one small phrase that helps put the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7 in context:
1Corinthians 7:26  Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for you to remain as you are.

"Because of the present crisis"...Paul is saying that due to the persecution that was going on at the time, he felt it was best for people to not make major changes in their lives.

1 Corinthians 7:15, 27-28 are pivotal verses regarding divorce and remarriage:
But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so...Are you married?  Do not seek a divorce.  Are you unmarried?  Do not look for a wife, But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned.

Why did Paul make a separate point about a virgin choosing to marry?  I believe it's because the first part of that sentence was dealing with believers who had been released from their marriage vows (and hence, NOT virgins) as described in verse 15. He says that those who remarry have not sinned.

Now, back to Jesus' words about divorce in Matthew 5:32...

I'm going to put this in bullet points to simplify...


  • All scripture is to be interpreted by other scripture.  If Jesus' words about divorce and remarriage are taken literally to apply to all Christians for all time, then He would be contradicting Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:12-15; 27-28.

  • Everything Jesus said did not apply to all people at all times.  He said at one time that when someone was healed, he was to go to the temple and offer a sacrifice.  (Matthew 8:4).  There was also a time he told his disciples to preach only to the Jews (Matthew 10:6), but later He told them to go to "Judea, Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth."  (Acts 1:8)

  • Everything Jesus said should not be taken literally.  For example:  He said that if your eye lusts, you should gouge it out. (Matthew 5:29) How many preachers teach that today?  They don't because they know it wasn't meant to be taken literally!

The Pharisees asked Jesus about divorce in Matthew 19:3-12.  Divorce must have been pretty prevalent at the time or they wouldn't have brought it up.  

Jesus says, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard.  But it was not this way from the beginning.  I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery." (Matthew 19:8-9)

Jesus' point here is that God's plan is for marriage to last a lifetime, but divorce was still permitted.

It is important to understand the background of what the Pharisees knew and practiced at the time.

The Law gave no right of divorce to the woman at all.  The man, however, could divorce his wife for absolutely any reason whatsoever!  

One of the documents I read said that the Rabbis had written, "A woman may be divorced with or without her will; but a man only with his will."  In other words, the woman had no choice in the matter.

All a man had to do to divorce his wife was to give her something in writing that said basically, "I am divorcing you.  You are now free to go marry someone else."

Here in Matthew 19, Jesus is addressing these men who thought they could divorce their wives for any reason...including...trivial stuff...she burned their matzo....she didn't please them sexually any more...he wanted her to have long hair and she got it cut...whatever!

Where did the Rabbis come up with this teaching that allowed a man to divorce his wife for any trivial thing?  They misinterpreted Deuteronomy 24:1...If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her, and sends her from his house...

The Rabbis started teaching that ANYTHING a wife did that displeased her husband would be legal cause for divorce.  You don't like the way she cooks?  No problem...just write up a certificate of divorce and present it...no fuss, no muss!  

Sort of the way most people look at divorce today, don't you think?

Jesus says, "No!"  Divorce isn't meant to be a way to get a newer and better model....when Jesus says,  the "one who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery,"  He was commenting on the Pharisees' interpretation of Deuteronomy 24:1.  

He didn't say there weren't other legitimate reasons for divorce.

Marriage is a covenant, a holy contract.  Covenants are sealed in blood, but they are similar to contracts in that there are two sides that come to an agreement... and each side is expected to keep their part!

Jesus took the whole of scripture into context.   Yes, he was aware of Deuteronomy 24:1 and the Rabbis misinterpretation of it.   He also knew Exodus 21:10-11. 

Exodus 21:10-11  speaks of the responsibility of the husband in a marriage to provide, "food, clothing, and marital rights."  This scripture says that even a slave wife (permitted at that time) has these rights in marriage.   If these needs were not met, the spouse to whom they were owed had a right to seek a divorce and would have been allowed to remarry.

Remember the old fashioned wedding vows, "to love, honor, and to keep"?  They came from Exodus 21:10-11!

Therefore, scriptural grounds for divorce are:
1.  Adultery (Deuteronomy 24:1, Matthew 19:3-9)
2.  Emotional or physical neglect (Exodus 21:10-11, 1 Corinthians 7:10-11)
3.  Abandonment or abuse (1 Corinthians 7, Exodus 21:10-11)

Brother Hagin, in his book, "Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage"  summed it up nicely.  He said that in considering all of these laws, it was important to remember that for New Testament believers, "all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself."  Galatians 5:14  Abuse, abandonment, neglect, and infidelity are outside of the law of love, and that's the law we are required to live.

God hates divorce... (Malachi 2:16)...

Divorce is sin.  It is missing the mark.  All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but thanks be unto God...if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  The blood of Jesus has divorce covered!!!!!!

So, yes, I've missed the mark, but I am thankful for the blood of Jesus.  I am thankful for a new heart and a new start... HALLELUJAH!

I am still serving God in the ministry.  I have served him as a Pastor in a large ministry since the divorce, and am preparing to relaunch my itinerant ministry...I have a story to tell to the glory of God!

There's much more I want to share on this subject as well as the subject of dealing with divorce, being single, and remarrying...but this is enough for today...maybe it was already too much!!  

I pray this blog has helped someone out there ...maybe a pastor who is trying to figure out if that wonderful, committed member who also happens to be divorced and remarried can serve in leadership... or someone who is trying to reconcile their desire to serve God despite a "failed" marriage...

Oh, and that's another thing...The Lord showed me that despite the fact that my 30 year marriage had ended sadly, it had not failed...because Malachi 2:15 says:  Has not the Lord, made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his.  And why one?  Because he was seeking godly offspring."

Praise God, I have been blessed with two amazing, godly offspring... but that's for another blog...

If this blog helped you in some way, I would love to hear from you.  Comment below or send me a message on Facebook!

I'll blog ya next week...in the meantime, do something today to fulfill your purpose!































Thursday, October 16, 2014

Ah, youth......looking down on them?

Today....

Take a walk down memory lane with me....and into the future as well.....

I feel like the Psalmist who wrote, "I have been young and now am old...." (Psalm 37:25)

I'm not in my 20s or 30s anymore....but I remember those years well....

I was part of a brand new church in Phoenix, it was ground breaking for the time....

The church met in a  small warehouse that had been converted to a place of worship...there was a sanctuary that seated maybe 100, three small rooms that served as nursery/children's church, and a rented space next door that housed a few simple offices.

We sang  energetic new songs like, "We Bring a Sacrifice of Praise into the house of the Lord...." and "In Him we live, and move, and have our be---ing".  (Anybody out there singing along?)

Seemed like someone was always playing a tambourine or dancing in the aisles.....

Everybody brought their Bibles and notebooks to church.  Nearly everyone served in some capacity.  When a special meeting or fast was called, the participation was practically 100%.

The pastor was in his mid 30s.....most of the congregants were in their 20s or 30s....lots of young families!

That church didn't have a lot of income....no "important people"... no dignitaries that I am aware of...no mayor or governor, or professional sports figures attended....

But man oh man, that church was on fire!  There was so much talent in that small membership that our musicals were known throughout the city, and always brought great harvests of souls!

Members grew the church, invited others to attend, shared the Gospel, supported missionaries, and raised their kids to serve God!

Did I mention that nearly all of the members as well as the staff were.....in their 20s or 30s?

There's something about the energy and enthusiasm of youth that must be appreciated, captured, and encouraged if a church is to keep on growing and affecting the world around it.

Paul wrote to the young pastor Timothy, "Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity"  (I Timothy 4:12)

I'm not in my 30s any more....
......I'm......in....my...50s....(whew!  I admitted it!)

Are people of my age "looking down" on those in the church who are younger because they do things differently?

Most folks my age are "comfortable" with a certain style of worship, particular rules in the sanctuary, the "proper" way to dress to attend church, standards of presentation from the pulpit.....but when we were in our 20s or 30s....OUR ways were NEW!  They were DIFFERENT!

When I was in my 20s and attending that young church, we didn't do things the way my parents' church did them.  We didn't sing the same songs, play the same instruments for worship, have the same kinds of sermons, dress for church in same kinds of clothes, or even fellowship the same way.....

I'm now one of the "elder generation" in the church.  I've been around, been through a lot of stuff, served in many capacities, and have taught the younger ones in Bible School for the last 12 years....I have experience and wisdom......

So....younger folk, please don't throw us elders out the window or under the bus!

On the other hand.....

Those of my era will (hopefully) keep in mind that the purpose for our experience and wisdom is not to put the "KABOSH" on new ways of presenting the Gospel, new songs, new worship experiences,  or new ways of reaching communities!

Who am I to say, "Since we didn't do things this way 30 years ago, they shouldn't be done this way today?"  My parents and their cohorts tried to tell me the same thing.....and I STILL went to that "wild" little church, lifted my hands, and sang, "We bring a sacrifice of praise...."

"NEW" does NOT have to mean, "WATERED DOWN".

I've been to churches where things went on that my generation generally sees as either distracting or downright irreverent.  For example:

Instead of a man standing in the pulpit and delivering the Word from his mouth, special effects- lighting and video presentations were used!

People carried coffee cups into the worship center, and the ushers didn't stop them!

The guy sitting next to me had earrings in his ears....

And when the hip, young pastor stood in the pulpit (in his jeans, T-shirt, and jacket), he preached the Word of God from his IPAD without compromise and with anointing and compassion.

People responded to the altar call with tears.  Many came and received healing of physical and emotional ills.  God moved.

I'm getting goose bumps thinking about it........God is so AWESOME!!!  Why would I want to limit Him to doing things the way of MY generation ONLY?

Don't get me wrong---God isn't finished with my generation....which is why we are still here!  :-)

Titus 2:1-8
"But speak thou the things which become sound doctrine: That the aged men be sober, grave, temperate, sound in faith, in charity, in patience. the aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed  Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing incorruptness, gravity, sincerity, sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part my be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you."

I'm thankful for my years of experience.

I'm here to teach and encourage the younger....but I'm not gonna be stuck in the past....One day, I WILL PREACH FROM MY IPAD!

By then, there will probably be another more hip device....  Oh, well....at least I'm trying!  :-)

Keep fulfilling your purpose. I'll blog ya next week!




















Thursday, October 9, 2014

Today.....

I'm getting a root canal!

Why am I sharing this on a blog that is meant to inspire and motivate? Root canals are neither inspirational nor motivational!

First of all, this blog is intended to be real.

I am a woman of faith. I am anointed to preach and teach the Gospel. I speak the Word and things change.  I pray and things move. I have followed God with all my heart for decades, but that doesn't mean I walk through life on a "flowery bed of ease."  (Thank you, Dad Hagin for that phrase!)

Second, like most preachers/teachers, nothing happens in my life that doesn't serve as a teaching point!

Have I lost you yet?

To the first point:  Why would I have to get a root canal?  I speak the Word over my body daily.  I confess that "The law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus has set me free from the law of sin and death."  (Romans 8:2)  and "He renews my youth like the eagle's."  (Psalm 103:5)

Lots of folks have stopped believing in the power of God's Word to effect healing because they heard of someone like me (or someone WAY more famous than me!).....having to get.... a root canal.....or a broken bone set.....or treatment for cancer....or........whatever.....

In an effort to protect people from falling into unbelief, a lot of preachers won't even let you know when they are needing prayer or receiving healing through natural means.

Well, I'm telling you...today... I'm getting a root canal, and if you want to pray for me, or bring me ice cream, or some home-made soup....then follow God!  No man/woman is an island!!!

Back to the point (ice cream always distracts me)....why would a person of faith have to have a medical or dental procedure done?

The Lord has shown me that there are things that, over the years, I have done to my body which have weakened my teeth....seedtime and harvest....Could I continue to stand on the Word and be healed?  Yes, I believe I could.  However, I believe the option is available to me to see a specialist and get it taken care of now, and, after seeking God, I believe that is the route I am to pursue.

Paul told Timothy to "Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for they stomach's sake and thine often infirmities."  1 Timothy 5:23.  What is that?  That is a natural, medicinal solution to a physical problem.  I am not condoning drinking alcohol, but seeking medical solutions is not contrary to the Word of God.  God wants you healed.  PERIOD.  Just like you want your children healed when they are ailing!

Any option should be entered into with prayer.  My husband and I prayed today for the Lord to guide the doctor and for my body to respond well and heal quickly.  There's nothing wrong with using the natural and asking God to put His "super" on that natural, making the healing supernatural! Pray and follow God!

To the second point:  This tooth is so small, and yet it has affected nearly every part of my life for the last 6 days!

Teaching point is this:  SMALL THINGS MATTER!!!  The little things you do every day will either promote you or demote you.  Things like being punctual, honest, meeting deadlines will promote....the opposite behaviors will demote!  It truly is the "little foxes that spoil the vine."  (Song of Solomon 2:15)

You may feel like you're a "small part" of your church, or at your job.  Yet, your function is important!  Never belittle whatever it is God has you doing at this moment.  It may not be what you are ultimately called to do.

 Perhaps you're called to pastor a church, but right now you're keeping track of how much toilet paper is in the church restrooms (been there, done that!).  Let me tell you what.....having that toilet paper in those restrooms is important!!  Handle that well, and God will promote you!

This is an entire message for another blog, but suffice it to say, that no one is unnoticed in God's eyes....He sees it all...He sees the diapers you've changed in the nursery.  He sees the way you welcomed that tatted kid who showed up in church for first time last week.  He sees the way you continue to tithe and give even when money is tight.  These seem like small things, but they are very big.

"For the body is not one member, but many.  If the foot shall say, Because I am not the hand, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?  And if the ear shall say, Because I am not the eye, I am not of the body; is it therefore not of the body?  If the whole body were an eye, where were the hearing? If the whole were hearing,where were smelling? But now hath God set the members every one of them in the body, as it hath pleased him." 1 Corinthians 12:14-18

That little tooth is SO SMALL.....yet so important in my life! I was tempted to just have it pulled, but I've  decided to give it new life!

If you need a spiritual root canal, and need some new life in what you're doing....get in the Word, talk to someone, encourage yourself in the Lord by praising and worshipping Him today, but don't just pull yourself out....like I wanted to do with this tooth!

I'll blog ya next week.  In the meantime....fulfill your purpose....today....